Play, Part 1

July 6, 2009

Oh playmate, come out and play with me.
And bring your dollies three.
Climb up my apple tree.
Look down my rain barrel.
Slide down my cellar door.
And we'll be jolly friends forevermore.

This song was on a record which I played
over and over and over and over. I sang it
with or without the record. It can take me
right back to childhood and those carefree
days when I got to play at Grandma's house -
with the wind up Victrola, the play spaces
in her flower garden, hunting for kittens in
the hayloft and helping Grandpa plant his
garden whether he wanted or needed my
help or not.

I consider myself most fortunate that
I grew up before televisions and computers
could monopolize my time. I remember hours
and hours of outdoor play - sometimes
alone, sometimes with other children;
sometimes with toys, sometimes with just
my own imagination. Or any combination
of the aforementioned.

There were many make-believe villages
built in the dirt under the shade of Grandma's
snowball bush. Hours and hours spent
playing house with cousin Jeannie, the
number of children depending on the number
of dolls we could find that day. Doll clothes
and actual baby bottles were optional.
Naked dolls always had pretend clothes to
wear which Jeannie and I could clearly see
and fully describe.

There was an element of play to chasing
the cows from the pastures to the barn come
milking time. There were trails to be named
and the obvious hazards to be avoided. When
herding cows one must watch carefully where
one steps. A playful attitude could be stopped
in mid-stream when forced to clean cow poop off
the bottom of one's shoes. To say nothing of
the lectures and turned up noses of the adults
hanging about if they noticed what had
happened because we had failed to get it all
off and our aroma made our presence
an intense annoyance to all for the rest of
the night.

We climbed across the monkey bars and
other playground equipment at school every
which way but loose. We wrestled each
other to the ground, pushed each other into
mud puddles on occasion, played endless
games of marbles and/or hopscotch at
recess. In the wintertime, there were
sledding and tobaggan parties, ice
skating, along with snow forts and snowball
fights. What fun!

Little did I know then how important
all this playtime was for the development
of my character. At least that is the
theory of Stuart Brown, M.D. who wrote
a book, Play: How It Shapes the Brain,
Opens the Imagination and Invigorates
the Soul. I heard him being interviewed
on the radio. I think I will have to read
this book. Sounds like fun!

Dr. Brown contends that the timeless,
guilt-free and purposeless hours spent
in play give us problem solving skills,
enable us to set visionary goals, and give
us the ability to trust and
to have empathy for the needs and welfare
of others. The murderers he interviewed
in prisons had never had the privilege of
playtime. Introducing play techniques is
actually benefitting these prisoners. They
are being changed for the better.

All of us are better off for
having had time to play as children.
And we do our children and grandchildren
a favor if we find ways to give them time
out to just be kids and play - without
benefit of computers, televisions,
ipods, cell phones or organized sports
programs. Even when we are adults,
we still need unstructured and seemingly
purposeless play time.

Lack of play makes one rigid and less
open-minded in thinking about people
and the world. Lack of play leaves one
easy prey for chronic depression and
less able to adapt to change. Know anyone
like this? I do. Some days it is me.

We are warned against "helicopter parenting" -
that is, hovering real close, trying to protect
our children from all hurt and harm which
can happen while playing. We ought not
exercise total control over how our children
interact and play together.

Yes, we need to intervene in case of serious bodily
harm, but Dr. Stuart suggests that some degree of rough
and tumble play actually prevents violence in later life -
and if we get hurt now and then, we feel the pain - and when
we realize how hurt we are - that's how we gain
empathy, hopefully deciding that we don't want to
inflict that kind of pain on anyone else. Combativeness
is normal - in girls and boys! We learn how to handle it
healthily when we are young, if allowed to experience the
school of hard knocks from time to time.

Well, it's not that simple but there is a big chunk
of truth in Dr. Stuart's observations. I'll talk more
about the importance of play next week. I'm on
vacation this week. And I foresee some games of
miniature golf in my near future. Find some
play time of your own. I hear it is good for the
soul!